Zambian marriage traditions deem that its always been the responsibility of the Man to pay for the wedding and as western style weddings become the norm compared to Traditional weddings, the list of requirements of what to do and have are rising the cost of weddings to levels that are now leaving some Grooms stressed with having to overstretch their wedding budget and this will sometimes result in them forgetting some basic but important bits of what needs to be done. Here are some common points of things they may have forgotten to do while planning their wedding
1. BUYING WHAT THEY WILL EAT AFTER THE WEDDING:
It has become common for some Zambian grooms not to put effort on planning what they will eat after the wedding and in many instances end up sleeping hungry. This has prompted family members to start asking the groom if they have food at home or they ordered for food where they will be spending the night . As this continues to occur its now caught the attention of family members who may have donated food in the past to make sure that its brought to the attention of the groom mostly a few days before the wedding day.
2. FORGETTING TO PURCHASE CLOTHES FOR THE BRIDE:
This happens because Zambian brides are told not to go with old clothes to their husband’s home. They are asked to leave behind all their clothes which may be put in storage, given away to charity or given to some family members to share among themselves. Situations have come up where some brides have found themselves with nothing to wear later on after the wedding. This maybe upsetting to any bride looking forward to changing into something fresh and new and not the clothes worn earlier for the wedding. The last thing any Groom needs is a grumpy bride on the first night together.
3. ATTENTION TO THEIR APPEARANCE:
Most Zambian grooms are always under pressure and moving from one place to another for wedding arrangements and planning at times leaves them with little time to pay attention to basic male grooming and they end up forgetting to shave their hair and beards and paying attention to their entire appearance.
4. FORGETTING TO THANK BA INKONGU.
Actually there are alot of things for which the groom can give thanks for which they end up forgetting,But this one is very important and Zambian grooms forget to say thank you to these marriage counsellors.On the wedding day when everyone is gone,” inkongu” ( marriage counsellors) remain behind to escort the couple where they will be spending the night. As most Zambian brides are separated and taught traditional values for marriage maybe for 2 months or more, these counsellors makes sure the groom is treated very special by the bride.They will escort them in the room, undress the woman before the groom and ask the bride questions on how to treat a man in front the groom and present things like a Razor, towel and bowel.Razor to shave the groom in case the puberty hair has grown.the bowel for washing after sex and face towel for wiping or drying up after washing. But most Zambian men end up not even saying thank you, mainly because they just get surprised with what’s happening.
5.TRANSPORTATION AFTER THE WEDDING:
Most family and friends tend to provide vehicles which are donated to ferry the bridal party and others up to the wedding venue/ reception. After the wedding, the people who donate their cars just tend to give lifts to those going the same route home as them when the wedding is over. The couple’s vehicle is always secured leaving behind the family members and bridal party members stranded.You will find the Zambian groom has forgotten how people who helped him will move and now panic starts.
6.FORGET TO EAT:
This may sound funny but Zambian grooms are sometimes under to much pressure with the wedding planning that they may not often stop to have a proper meal. There have been many instances where Zambian grooms have fainted/dropped on the ground due to weakness for lack of food. For this reason many family members now assign someone to make sure the groom has a proper meal or eats some food to keep him going.Sometimes excitement and anxiety also makes them forget they have not eaten.
7.CHARGING THE PHONE:
Zambian grooms as said earlier are mainly not good planners unless those with alot of money paying for wedding planners. By the time they need to use the phone that’s when they realize they didn’t charge the phone and they don’t have charger.
8. PHOTO WASTAGE:
Zambian grooms actually forget to put precautions on Photography,how many they want,the size and how it should be done.They will keep taking photos from place to another no counting nor considering what they want. Its only when the photos comes out that they now start complaining when they should have been paying attention when the photos where been taken.They just get over excited and become wasteful forgetting the outcome of charges sizes and numbers of photos.
9. FORGET TO OBSERVE THEIR CULTURE:
Some Zambian grooms forget traditional cultures,norms and heritage.In Zambian kissing is allowed at weddings because the couple are declared man & wife but they are still expected to show it little restrain to cultural respect by not kissing deeply and over doing things which westerners may get away with but some Zambian grooms tend to forget such things when caught up in the moment and end up making some people who are not acustomed with Western culture uncomfortable and some end up feeling disrespected especially relatives from remote areas who may not be familiar with things like the urban life styles or things like social media.Zambian grooms explosively forget the culture and traditional doing things in excitement just because it’s their day. To be honest most Grooms by now may have been under a lot of pressure that they may not be aware of some of their actions as they are just glad the pressure is off and they just want to have a great time.
10. GIFT CARE -TAKER:
All Zambian grooms love to receive gifts but often forget to appoint someone who will take care of the gifts given. its only when family members start to run up to them asking where gifts are to be placed or whose paying attention or taking care of the gift when most Grooms realise that they had not taken care of that aspect of the wedding planning. That’s when they will get busy now trying to get someone to look after the presents when they should be relaxing and having a great time.